The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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