That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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