Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I could fuck to npr.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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