is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
