My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
