I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
