I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
