I cannot find my penis.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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