so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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