After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
