Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
