It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
