How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
