I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who wears a wallet chain?!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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