Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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