just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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