i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
