First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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