Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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