I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
