i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
