Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My legs feel like baby dolphins
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize