Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
