You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
