Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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