Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
