He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
