I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
