My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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