I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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