Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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