The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
