I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
