The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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