And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
