Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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