the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
