Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
