literally had 100 drinks last night.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
