i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
