I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
