He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
