wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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