In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
