ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
