I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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