it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
