i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
