We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I supernannyed him into submission
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