If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
