omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
