Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
