..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
