Tell her she can't have a vagina
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
