they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
