I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
